A poem by Kelsey Klesser.
I was never the smart girl, drawings all over her homework always got an F on my report card
I could present like I was the smart girl with quiet grey eyes and teachers saying
Volunteers in class but can’t pass a test
Smart girls are good test takers
Smart girls where promise rings and smart don’t take foggy nudes
I wanted to be a smart girl
Wanted to pass the AP psych class
Get an A in the stats class
I wanted the most popular boy to ask me to that party
But I was 15 kissing my girlfriend in a parking lot
Do you trust me if I say she is just a friend and nothing more
Do you trust me if I say I promise to wait till marriage
Do you trust me if I say I wanted to be the smart girl, the good girl, the nice girl
And yet the cookie cutter girls mothers whispear Ed how I was a Jewish girl
And not the nice Jewish girl, more the Jewish girl with devil horns so they could convert my horns into a halo
I always heard whispers of being the broken girl, crazy girl, troubled girl
Those mothers never seemed to ask why I am a demonic girl an all over the place girl
I was so determined I could be more than the casually daring girl, more than the crazy ex girl bitchy girl mad girl ugly girl girly girl the one who is responsible for your happiness type of girl
People seem to praise the smart girls and ridicule the rest of them
The teachers at my school would call us the sinful girls yet do not ask who created these sins in the first place
God I’m in love with the girly girls
The Barbie girl who lives in her dream house
The girls whose wardrobe looks like Elle woods personality
With the French manicure and the fuchsia pastry dresses
Like Betsy Johnson is her own personal stylist
God I’m in love with the loud girls
Troubled girls know following the rules gets you nowhere
Wicked girls know being likable keeps you trapped in a jail
Sometimes I can mask myself that I am the quiet girl
Just because I can put on a costume that does not mean that is who I am
I am older and my nudes are clear now
And fuck I still couldn’t tell you about the periodic table
But hey look where I am now
Jewish, witchy girls get out of the mid Atlantic
Bimbo girls fail 4th grade and get their masters at 24
Gay girl are living their best lives
Getting their nails done in ruby red slippers and kissing other girls at coffee shops
I love being a girl
A sexual daydream about Lilith type of girl
Hot pink commodity girls go to therapy
Romantic girls can create oceans for what they feel for others
Soft girls have powerful full mouthed opinions
Feeling cool in her own sanctuary
Alive in her wonderful wonderful life
Kelsey Klesser is a social worker and a slam poet based in the Boston, Massachusetts area. Kelsey enjoys using the personification of color to write about topics of intersectionality, queerness, and mental health.
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